


Always On My Mind

by CautiousDreamer



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Nick Grimshaw & Harry Styles Friendship, Past Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 23:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13669185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CautiousDreamer/pseuds/CautiousDreamer
Summary: Nick and Harry go on a mini adventure and end up sharing a heart to heart.





	Always On My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> For Taylor, hope you like it!
> 
> Original prompt was: Canon-compliant non-romantic Gryles on vacation in 2017, where Nick talks Harry into contacting Louis (maybe there are texts, maybe they discuss the past, maybe they reconnect)
> 
> This is my first fic in about 10 years, hope it's okay.

_Bang bang bang!_

Nick startled awake with a jolt. It was pitch black, the middle of the night, who on earth was banging his door?

_Bang bang bang bang bang!_

The banging resumed. It was pretty insistent, whoever it was clearly wanted his attention. Reluctantly he got out of bed, grabbing some shorts and pulling them on over his boxers as he walked towards the door.

“This had better be good!”

He peered through the peephole and groaned, he should have know.

“What are you doing? It's late! Why are you up? Don't international pop sensations need beauty sleep like us mere mortals?”

“Oh Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas. There is nothing mere mortal about you.”

“Hmmf!” It was far too late… or early for flattery.

“Now, get yourself dressed, we're going on an adventure.”

“An adventure? What are you talking about Harry? It's the middle of the night! And I thought you had a plane to catch in the morning. How can we be going on an adventure?”

“You’re right of course…”

“Of course.”

“But it’s all planned out, plenty of time to go, have an adventure, and get back with hours to spare before my flight.”

Nick looked dubiously at Harry.

“Now seriously, get dressed. Trainers not flip flops. You’ve got 5 minutes.”

Nick tried his best to both slam the door in Harry’s face, and to not make noise and wake anyone else up. He did as he was told, pulling on a t-shirt and socks and trainers. He slipped his wallet and phone into his pockets, grabbed a hoodie in case they were going somewhere cold before stopping with his hand on the door handle. What on earth was he doing? He was always up for a laugh but this seemed ridiculous. Who went off adventuring at half 3 in the morning? 

Sighing with the realisation that it was fruitless him even attempting to argue with anything Harry suggested, he opened the door to be greeted again by his overly happy for this time of the morning face.

“Perfect,” Harry grinned, “Let’s go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~~~

“Are you serious?” Nick asked, when Harry pulled their car into the car park. 

“Hope you’re ready for a walk,” said Harry, jumping out of the car.

“But why?” Nick whined, “It’s still the middle of the night!”

“No point climbing to watch the sun rise in the middle of the day is there?”

“That’s what we’re doing?”

“Yes. I’ve never seen the sun rise over the Mediterranean. And like you so rightly mentioned earlier I fly home today so I’m seizing the opportunity.”

“Well okay. That’s ridiculous, but so are you so I guess that makes sense. Just one question…”

“Yes?”

“Why do I have to seize it too? Why couldn’t I just sleep?”

“Who better to share one of the most magical times of the day with but one of my best friends?”

Nick opened his mouth ready to crib over being labeled as just one of Harry’s best friends before deciding he couldn’t be bothered. It was still way too early for any of that.

“Right, now come on, we need to get going.” Harry led off away from the car.

Quickly he found he didn’t have the breath to even consider complaining or arguing any more. Harry set a fair pace walking up the narrow path that wound its way up the side of the hill they were climbing. Within a few minutes Nick found himself wishing Alexa and Daisy hadn’t persuaded him to have that last drink, or two, last night. But then again if he’d actually known that he was going to be mountaineering mere hours after finishing the night he might have been in a position to make a different decision. 

“Alright there Nick?” called back Harry, still walking and not sounding remotely out of breath.

“Never… better…” Nick gasped. How on earth was he this out of breath? He knew he was fit, he did enough exercise to guarantee that. Must be the altitude. That’d be it. Like when Fearne did Kilimanjaro.

“Nearly there, just another few minutes.”

Another few minutes felt much longer than that to Nick but eventually they reached a clearing. Harry had stopped and was reaching into the bag he’d been carrying. He pulled out a blanket that looked suspiciously like the one Nick had found in the top of the wardrobe in his room when they all checked in.

“Is that...?”

“Yes. Now shush and help me lay it flat.” Within seconds the blanket was flat and they were sitting on it looking out towards the sea.

“So how long do we have to wait?” Nick asked.

“Proper sunrise is due in about half an hour, see how much lighter the sky is already?”

Nick hadn’t, but now he realised Harry was absolutely right. 

“I’m still not sure why you’ve dragged me up here for this. Not like I don’t see the sun rise every week day.”

“Yeah, but do you really see it? Or does it just happen around you?”

“Listen to Mr Mindful,” Nick tried to make it sound like he was mocking Harry, but like every other time he tried he couldn’t make it anything other than affectionate. 

“Be nice or I won’t share the rest of the bag with you!”

“I’m always nice! Well, most of the time. To you anyway.”

“Good enough I guess,” with that Harry emptied the rest of the contents of the bag he’d been so carefully carrying. Out came a thermos, two mugs and a brown paper bag. Nick suspected there might be baked goods in the bag, well he hoped there would be.

“Thought we needed breakfast after that climb.”

“Okay okay, you’ve redeemed yourself at least a little Harold. The contents of that bag will be vital in deciding quite how much.”

“What needs to be in there for complete redemption?”

“I’d say warm, fresh out of the oven chocolate muffins, but I know that’s beyond the realms of possibility… guess you’ll have to surprise me.”

Harry passed the bag over, trying hard but failing to hide his grin. Nick felt the warmth in the bag, reached in and was amazed to find that Harry had actually found a way to bring fresh, recently baked muffins.

“How…”

“I asked nicely and Pepe let me go and use his kitchen.”

“Have you even been to bed?” 

“Yes, I slept, then got up, baked and then came and woke you.”

Nick always found himself marvelling over the way Harry could be so productive so soon after waking, but he guessed that years spent touring and recording albums simultaneously probably taught a person those sort of skills. He was all fine with the early starts providing it was for work, but was useless for a good hour or so after he got out of bed. He could be halfway to Broadcasting House before he felt remotely awake, even if it was a run to work morning.

“You truly are a marvel. And completely 100% redeemed.”

The two men fell into a companionable silence as they tucked into the still warm cakes and sipped at their tea. The sky in front of them was kept getting lighter with the warm pinky tones Nick had been expecting to see starting to dance across the sky. Eventually their eyes were drawn to where the sun was edging into sight, brighter and more fierce than Nick had imagined.

“Gorgeous,” he breathed, amazed by the strength of the colours the sun was bringing with it. He felt Harry nudge closer to him, he reached and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close.

They sat like that a while longer, both lost with their own thoughts as they watched the sky getting lighter and more colourful. 

“Worth it?” asked Harry after a while.

“Yes okay, be as smug as you want, this was so worth it. How did you know?”

“While I was in Jamaica there were a few nights where I didn’t sleep well, my brain was just too noisy. There was this one night and I woke up about 3 o'clock and was wide awake. I decided I’d go for a bit of a walk, see if that got it out of my system and I ended up walking long enough that I saw the sun rise over the sea. It took my breath away, and it just felt so pure, you know?’

Nick nodded.

“It felt like seeing that fresh start to the day somehow gave me a fresh perspective. I didn’t get any more sleep but I felt more content and I had such a good day after it.”

“So you wanted that again here? A fresh perspective?” Nick started to feel like there was more going on than he’d realised.

“Maybe?”

“You wanna talk about whatever it is? I mean, I’m assuming that you’ve dragged me up here because you do, but it just seems like good manners to ask rather than just start demanding you talk about it ‘cos you might not actually want to talk about it you might just have wanted me to come along to make sure that you got back safely and now I might be ruining the moment and…”

“Nick! Stop! You’re rambling. I didn’t bring you here just to make sure I got back. I wanted to share this whole thing with you.”

“And to talk?”

“If I knew what to say then yes. But mainly I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather see this with.”

They continued to sit there in silence while Harry seemed to be thinking about something.

“I’ve been thinking…” 

“Go on,” Nick encouraged.

“About fresh perspectives and new beginnings, or maybe old endings and all that.”

Nick suddenly felt like he had an idea where this was going.

“You thinking about needing one?”

“New one? Revised one? I don’t know, and yet…”

“We’re talking about him?”

“Yeah,” Harry sighed.

“You haven’t wanted to talk about him for a while. What’s brought this on?”

“Been thinking a lot, you know, with everything going on with him and with me. Just feels like maybe I don’t want that door to be as closed as it is. Maybe I didn’t want that ending to go the way it did.”

“I can see that. You went from being like 1000% in to practically nothing almost overnight. I’m still not sure I completely understand how or why. But I can understand why that might not be sitting right.”

“Well…”

“And don’t get thinking that’s me wanting you to start telling me the ins and outs and the he said so I saids. That’s not important now. I’ve told him the same thing.”

“You’ve spoken to Louis?” Harry pulled away from Nick’s side and turned so that he was looking straight at him. Nick put his head in his hands and groaned.

“Didn’t mean to say that. At all.”

“No, I’m sure you didn’t. When did you talk to him? What did…”

“What did he say? You sure you want to know?”

“Yes? No? Maybe? This isn’t the conversation I was imagining us having.”

“Sorry, I’ve derailed it a bit haven’t I. Okay, so yeah, we bumped into each other at some party. He was sitting in the corner on his own just nursing a pint and I felt compelled to go and check on him, make sure he was doing okay. Don’t know why, he was his usual mouthy self as soon as I got near, but then he started blathering on about what I must think of him, he must have had a few by the time I saw him. He assumed that I knew what had gone on, but I stopped him before he said anything, and I told him then that I didn’t know anything and wasn’t planning on asking either of you.”

“Was he okay? How did he look?”

“Yeah, he was just drunk and maudlin. He looked alright, just like Louis always looks when he’s got stuck into the night a bit hard a bit quick.”

“Did he say anything else? Sorry, I shouldn’t be asking.”

“Why shouldn’t you? You’re allowed to still care. It’s not really important at the moment though is it? Ramblings of a drunken ex. Go back to what you were going to say, about the door being closed?”

“It just feels so wrong. There are still so many times I go to text him, I see something that reminds me of him and I want to tell him. I never actually imagined this whole thing would end up with this complete radio silence.”

“I think, and I’m probably speaking out of turn here but I’ve already stuck my big foot in it so I might as well keep it there. I think that he probably feels the same. That was certainly the impression I got.”

“I don’t know what to do with that. I didn’t expect to hear that, and now I don’t know even more what to do then before.”

“Really? I’d have thought it made it easier. You know this way that if you try to open that door a bit he’s not going to kick it shut again.”

“Do I? It’s one thing him saying something when he’s drunk, another thing entirely for him to follow through on it. And if I’m still sure of anything it’s that he’s as stubborn as anyone I’ve ever known. You know that too.”

“This is true, not sure I’ve ever come across anyone more stubborn than Louis Tomlinson. So okay, let’s say you try to open the door a little, what could happen?”

“He could ignore me? He could be awful?” Harry sounded like he really believed that these were the only possible ways him contacting Louis could end.

“Or he could be pleased you’ve been the one with the guts to make the first move and then help to keep that door ajar? And even if he doesn’t then are you any worse off than you currently are?”

“I guess not. But I’d know then there that really wasn’t any coming back from this.”

“Instead of secretly living in some sort of limbo where you just hope that things are magically going to heal themselves between you?”

“So you think I should reach out?”

“Honestly? Yeah I do,” Nick was usually hesitant to offer advice like this, but based on the conversation he’d had with Louis and everything he knew Harry hadn’t been saying he was pretty sure it was going to work out. And if somehow he was wrong then Harry was going to be so busy in the next few months that he would have enough to throw himself into as a distraction.

“How would you do it? Not that I’m saying I will, but I’m curious.” Nick had made sure he was looking at Harry when he told him he thought he should do it, he’d spotted the brief smile that he’d tried so hard to stifle. He realised this was what Harry wanted, for someone else to tell him to do it and how. He must have been thinking this over for some time.

“I guess you could go for texting him something entirely random, whatever feels right? Build up to suggesting getting together? I’m assuming that’s what you want, that you don’t just want him to be at the end of the phone responding to your texts?”

“No, I want… I don’t know…” Harry was back to both looking and sounding unsure.

“Okay. Let’s do this. Text him something now, you’ll back out if you don’t. Something simple or maybe funny, and then see. If he responds then take it from there. Trust your instincts. This is Louis we’re talking about, not some member of the Royal Family.”

“You think?”

“I do. Now, get your phone out!”

“Now?”

“Now, Lovely as this has been I don’t intend to spend my whole morning sitting on the side of this hill looking at this very beautiful sea. I would like to get some breakfast pretty soon, feels like we ate those muffins ages ago and we’ve got a good half an hour walk to even reach the car.”

“Yeah yeah, that’s right, think of your stomach when I’m going through a crisis.”

“Crisis? Nah! You just needed someone to tell you to do what you’ve been wanting to do. Now get your phone.”

Harry muttered under his breath just a shade too quietly for Nick to hear him, as he leaned back across the blanket to the bag and pulled his phone from his bag.

“Right, what am I going to text him?”

“Seriously? You want me to do all of this? Surely you can do this part yourself?”

Harry thought for a few minutes. He snapped a picture of the view in front of him, while the sun was now properly risen the sky was still stained a faint shade of pink. He typed furiously for a minute before Nick heard the tell-tale woosh of a text being sent.

“Proud of you,” Nick said, pulling Harry back in for a proper hug. “It’ll be alright. You watch.”

“MESSAGE!” blared Harry’s phone only minutes later, Louis’s overloud voice sounding as entirely obnoxious as he’d intended when he’d stolen Harry’s phone and recorded it. Nick decided that he wouldn’t mention the fact Harry still had that set as the text alert for Louis. That would keep for another time.

“That didn’t take him long,” said Nick. “You going to read that?”

Harry reluctantly picked his phone back up. He swiped, and read Louis’ response. His face lit up in a smile.

“Okay?” asked Nick.

“You know, I think it just might be.”


End file.
